So many books, TV shows, and articles have been written or produced about how to be a good parent. It all seems so easy in the media, but practically, it doesn’t always feel that way. Parenting is really hard work, and equally rewarding. It is filled with moments of self-doubt --even fear. So, what does being a, good parent really mean?
The truth is that there really is no one-size-fits-all approach. So it’s not so much about becoming that perfect parent, but rather about being a, good enough, parent. This is equal parts choosing a parenting style that authentically fits for you and is mutually good for your child.
Dr. Laura Markham, the author of ‘Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How To Stop Yelling and Start Connecting’, integrates teaching discipline and helping your child understand their emotions. Dr. Markham highlights that the two most important lessons a child will learn are: (a) how to manage their feelings and (b) how to understand the feelings of others.
She believes the first step is to lead by example by demonstrating mindful self-awareness. Parent self-awareness of their own emotion, ability to pause and reflect, rather than react, models a calm way of processing feelings. With this insight and understanding, you can appropriately share your feelings without reacting in frustration and anger. In turn, the child will eventually learn to manage their feelings the same way.
Dr. Markham believes it is important to, connect before you correct. When children feel an unshakable bond, built through positive interactions and deep connection, correcting misbehavior can become more fluid. It is safe to receive behavioral corrections when you have no doubts about your parents’ affinity for you. This method is so powerful; it works for the whole family --not just with kids!
Parenting can be overwhelming at times, which is why seeking professional expertise can be wise. At Curis Functional Health, we have seasoned, non-judgmental, compassionate counselors who would love to help you through your parenting journey. We can offer support, guidance, and help you discover the tools to be the best parent you can be.